A man brought his wife for a consultation. She had headaches almost everyday. When I diagnosed, investigated and evaluated her condition by performing Nadi Pariksha, I realised that her physical health had deteriorated due to her emotions of anger. When I had a conversation with her husband, he told me that he had tried telling her so many times to forget the past and that she wouldn\’t listen. When you are in ego consciousness, you become a part of the problem. Your ego is the problem. Most people don\’t understand this.
Ego is the problem
In this scenario, the wife was angry that her husband was not giving her enough time and attention, Women want attention, appreciation and communication from their spouse. It fulfils her belief that she is loved and cared for. Men, on the other hand like to bee told what their woman wants. Then, they prefer to discuss it. This is not how relationships work.
This man, she said, calls and speaks for less than 3 minutes. However, he spends a lot more time with his friends. This is typical of a dysfunctional relationship. As long as she was in my office, she was looking upset.
Relationships don\’t improve this way.
When you are in ego consciousness, you become a part of the problem
Your ego is the problem – Get your ego out of the way
In my 29 years of experience of working with families, couples and individuals, I have come to know that, the only way relationships will improve is when you genuinely listen, without having to give something in return. Women do not require your advise. They require you and your keen listening. Women speak. They don\’t ask, unless needed. So, don\’t give free advise when it is not sought.
When her finger is directed towards you mentioning that you are the problem, do not resist, nor deny. Introspect instead. Realise that there is a difference between you and your ego. Your ego is the problem. Not you. You must get your ego out of the way. Unless you learn to listen and get out of the habit of replying to a question she never asked, you are preventing healing from happening. Your spouse will only be even more frustrated.
When you need solutions to a problem, focus on the solution. Do not focus on getting rid of the problem. Resolution will arrive when realise that your ego is the problem and that you have worked on yourself. It takes consistency, determination and dedication. Now, go for it.
— Mahesh Krishnamurthy
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